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Bird, H. E. (Henry Edward), 1830-1908

"Chess History and Reminiscences"

, the hatter, that he was
not playing in his best tile hardly applied. Buckle, with his
proverbially `bad hat', usually under the table, yet invariably
played superbly.
A man of leather found his efforts to excel, bootless. The
retired fishmonger Umpleby played but a (f) visionary game.
The tailor complained that he played more like a goose than a
bird.
------
THE PIECES IN CHESS
Jokes have been sometimes made about the pieces used in
chess. Even the calm and serene Mr. Lambe could not refrain
from being facetious in reference to the conversion of a Pawn or
private soldier into a Queen. Another remarked that the Queen
works very hard for a lazy King who alone gets all the checks.
Umpleby, the retired fishmonger in the chess story declared that
he would have been the best player in the world, but for the
Knights at chess which jumped about in the most unreasonable
and absurd manner without rhyme or reason, here there and
everywhere, and the lady who it was said was found engaged and
playing with thirty-two men remained single ever afterwards.
A rather boasting player once said, "I must win, I have a piece
--a (of) head.


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