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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy"

"
"Nay, nay, Master Nick," said Brenton, firmly, "that will
I never allow. Let us make it to ourselves a maxim that
all that shall be said in this news sheet, or 'news
paper,' as my conceit would fain call it, for be it not
made of paper (here a merry laugh of the apprentices
greeted the quaint fancy of the Master), shall be of
ascertained verity and fact indisputable. Should the
Grand Turk make war and should the rumour of it come to
these isles, then will we say 'The Turk maketh war,' and
should the Turk be at peace, then we will say 'The Turk
it doth appear is now at peace.' And should no news come,
then shall we say 'In good sooth we know not whether the
Turk destroyeth the Bulgars or whether he doth not, for
while some hold that he harasseth them sorely, others
have it that he harasseth them not, whereby we are sore
put to it to know whether there be war or peace, nor do
we desire to vex the patience of those who read by any
further discourse on the matter, other than to say that
we ourselves are in doubt what be and what be not truth,
nor will we any further speak of it other than this.


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