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Leacock, Stephen, 1869-1944

"Moonbeams from the Larger Lunacy"

"
"Give me the book, General," I said. "Now that I understand
what you meant by it, I think I can show you also some
very funny passages in it. These things, for example,
that you say about Canada and the colonies,--yes, here
it is, page 148,--'In the event of war the loosely-joined
British Empire will break into pieces, and the colonies
will consult their own interests,'--excellently funny,--and
this again,--'Canada will not permanently retain any
trace of the English spirit,'--and this too,--'the Colonies
can be completely ignored so far as the European theatre
of war is concerned,'--and here again,--'Egypt and South
Africa will at once revolt and break away from the empire,'
--really, General, your ideas of the British Colonies
are superbly funny. Mark Twain wasn't a circumstance on
you."
"Not at all," said Bernhardi, and his voice reverted to
his habitual Prussian severity, "these are not jokes.
They are facts. It is only through the folly of the
Canadians in not reading my book that they are not more
widely known.


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