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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Soldiers Three"

None of your bridal
airs and graces with me!
Leads G. _downstairs, and stands over him while he eats two chops_.
CAPT. G. (_Who has looked at his watch thrice in the last five
minutes_.) What time is it?
CAPT. M. Time to come for a walk. Light up.
CAPT. G. I haven't smoked for ten days, and I won't _now_. (_Takes
cheroot which M. has cut for him, and blows smoke through his nose
luxuriously_.) We aren't going down the Mall, are we?
CAPT. M. (_Aside_.) They're all alike in these stages. (_Aloud_.) No,
my Vestal. We're going along the quietest road we can find.
CAPT. G. Any chance of seeing Her?
CAPT. M. Innocent! No! Come along, and, if you want me for the final
obsequies, don't cut my eye out with your stick.
CAPT. G. (_Spinning round_.) I say, isn't She the dearest creature
that ever walked? What's the time? What comes after 'wilt thou take
this woman'?
CAPT. M, You go for the ring. R'clect it'll be on the top of my
right-hand little ringer, and just be careful how you draw it off,
because I shall have the Verger's fees somewhere in my glove.
CAPT. G. (_Walking forward hastily_.


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