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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Soldiers Three"

DeSussa cuvveted
Rip, tho' she went to church reg'lar along wi' her husband who was so
mich darker 'at if he hedn't such a good coaat tiv his back yo' might
ha' called him a black man and nut tell a lee nawther. They said he
addled his brass i' jute, an' he'd a rare lot on it.
Well, you seen, when they teed Rip up, t' poor awd lad didn't enjoy
very good 'elth. So t' Colonel's Laady sends for me as 'ad a naame for
bein' knowledgeable about a dog, an' axes what's ailin' wi' him.
'Why,' says I, 'he's getten t' mopes, an' what he wants is his libbaty
an' coompany like t' rest on us, wal happen a rat or two 'ud liven him
oop. It's low, mum,' says I,'is rats, but it's t' nature of a dog; an'
soa's cuttin' round an' meetin' another dog or two an' passin' t' time
o' day. an' hevvin' a bit of a turn-up wi' him like a Christian.'
So she says _her_ dog maunt niver fight an' noa Christians iver fought.
'Then what's a soldier for?' says I; an' I explains to her t' contrairy
qualities of a dog, 'at, when yo' coom to think on't, is one o't'
curusest things as is. For they larn to behave theirsens like gentlemen
born, fit for t' fost o' coompany--they tell me t' Widdy herself is
fond of a good dog and knaws one when she sees it as well as onny body:
then on t' other hand a-tewin' round after cats an' gettin' mixed oop
i' all manners o' blackguardly street-rows, an' killin' rats, an'
fightin' like divils.


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