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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Soldiers Three"

But I looked straight forninst
me an' hauled up this an' dragged down that, such as was my duty, an'
the orf'cers' ladies sez one to another, thinkin' I was out av
listen-reach: "Fwhat an obligin' young man is this Corp'ril Mulvaney!"
I was a Corp'ril then. I was rejuced aftherwards, but, no matther, I
was a Corp'ril wanst.
'Well, this _Sweethearts'_ business wint on like most amshure
theatricals, an' barrin' fwhat I suspicioned, 'twasn't till the
dhress-rehearsal that I saw for certain that thim two--he the
blackguard, an' she no wiser than she should ha' been--had put up an
evasion.'
'A what?' said I.
'E-vasion! Fwhat you call an elopemint. E-vasion I calls it, bekaze,
exceptin' whin 'tis right an' natural an' proper, 'tis wrong an' dhirty
to steal a man's wan child she not knowin' her own mind. There was a
Sargint in the Comm'ssariat who set my face upon e-vasions. I'll tell
you about that--'
'Stick to the bloomin' Captains, Mulvaney,' said Ortheris; 'Comm'ssariat
Sargints is low.'
Mulvaney accepted the amendment and went on:--
'Now I knew that the Colonel was no fool, any more than me, for I was
hild the smartest man in the rig'mint, an' the Colonel was the best
orf'cer commandin' in Asia; so fwhat he said an' _I_ said was a mortial
truth.


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