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Laxer, Mark Eliot

"Take Me for a Ride: coming of age in a destructive cult"


The meditations during the bicycle journey helped me comprehend
and come to terms with an earlier journey. When I was sixteen,
I sought fellowship, Truth, and that which lies beneath
the "surface" world of reason. I came to believe that I could
find these things by studying with a sorcerer in a desert
in Mexico, by gazing at an underexposed photograph of a *fully*
enlightened Indian man, and by following the etiquette of a warm,
funny, brilliant, persona-flipping man with a Ph.D. in English.
I later looked to Gandhi and to William Shirer for answers.
But as I rode west from Concord, Massachusetts, I found a teacher
inside myself, and the lessons worked for me.
I learned that it is important not to follow someone blindly,
even if he is truly childlike, humble, self-giving, and "Self-Realized";
even if he is a friend; and particularly if he is reluctant
to openly admit that he can be seduced by his power over others.
Genuine teachers encourage their students to question them throughout
the *entire* apprenticeship, because genuine teachers accept their
own imperfect human nature.
I learned that it is important to balance the mystical with
the rational. Meditation tends to open the mind to suggestion.
The art of the mystic seems to be, therefore, to know when to let go,
be spontaneous, and open up to the universe, and when to gain control,
use the power of reason, and protect the body, mind, and soul.


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