"
"You've been attacking me in the Dream Plane!" my brother accused
me and several others.
"You've been trying to steal my power for years!" countered Sal
when it came his turn.
"Yes," approved Rama.
Instead of listening and preparing for my turn, I recalled the way Big
Nurse inspired patients to rat on each other. "Rama is manipulating us,"
I thought. "He's getting us to turn on one another. He's dividing us.
Divide and conquer."
Suddenly it was my turn. I did not know what to say. I stood up.
The others had remained seated. I turned to Rachel. ("I have
always liked you," I thought.) I said, "We have gotten along well.
I don't see any problems between us."
Rama looked surprised. This was not the kind of response he
had in mind.
Rachel smiled at me.
I turned to Suzanne. ("You say that I suffer from delusions that
I'm Luke Skywalker. Perhaps.") I said, "I hardly even know you."
I turned to Dana. ("I've had a crush on you since the time
in the San Diego airport, under the palms.") I said, "I don't know
if you've been sending me sexual energy or what, but for years
I've been very attracted to you."
She raised her eyebrows. So did Rama. So did the others.
I had broken a taboo. Sexual attraction was not something we were
supposed to discuss, particularly in a group, particularly with Rama,
particularly regarding one of Rama's women, and *particularly*
regarding Dana who, along with Anne, was Rama's closest disciple.
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