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Laxer, Mark Eliot

"Take Me for a Ride: coming of age in a destructive cult"

This was my way of saying
that I harbored no ill feelings.
He accepted.
It was well past midnight and the twelve had arrived. Actually there
were only ten but we counted Tom's spirit. We also counted Lakshmi,
the Centre's patron goddess.
Rama served a red wine which he said was expensive. I recalled
that weeks before, he had counseled disciples to avoid alcohol.
He showed us a cake decorated with the image of a frog. "You will get
some cake after the meeting," he said, as though addressing a group
of children. The decoration reminded me of Kermit. I wondered
if he had reincarnated the symbol as part of a spiritual lesson,
or if it was just icing on the cake.
A few minutes later Rama put on electronic music, picked up
the original Bliss puppet, and started to dance.
The disciples watched, their faces aglow with adoration. I wondered
if I used to look like that. "Don't watch," I thought and walked away.
In a corner of the room, I quietly danced with a Bliss of my own.
The music stopped. Rama instructed us to sit in a circle in the living room.
I hesitated. "Something about this doesn't feel right," I thought.
I sat down, nonetheless, and meditated with the group.
Roughly forty-five minutes later, Rama began to speak about the rapid
deterioration of the earth's psychic energy field.


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