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Laxer, Mark Eliot

"Take Me for a Ride: coming of age in a destructive cult"


"He's formatting us like floppy disks!" I thought. I was about
to plug my ears with my fingers when suddenly I remembered that I
had brought my journal. I retrieved it and sat back down.
Rama was still talking. In the upper right hand corner
of the page, where I typically included the date, I wrote,
"**timeless". I was still high. Then I wrote, "...the basic Agni
Operating System: boot: breath deeply 2x. Take your time. where is
your stomache...who has control of it? NOTE: nothing else matters.
who ever is letting or not letting you take deep breaths of air-->if
this is someone other than me, eliminate them. you breathe.
You take it ez. get good exercise. Learn ANYTHING at a pace healthy
for you! So, 2 traps to avoid: 1) other people...who live my life
(not me living my life); 2) people trying to help me, but i take
it wrong (due to #1). whatever TRIP you're on, remember breathing.
remember who you are...never look to others to patch...Agni...You
must be strong...even now, i am drawing upon a very healthy basic
energy that supports me. That so is good. But over the last
7 years, i have been always rushing to meet someone else's gap.
No thanx...Everyone is the same. Some people think they are special.


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