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Laxer, Mark Eliot

"Take Me for a Ride: coming of age in a destructive cult"

I wondered if Rama,
by assigning the book, had been trying to reach out vicariously to
his past and to an influential leader of his generation.
When we arrived in Boulder, Rama seemed to flip between supportive
and abusive personas more rapidly. One moment, he was calm
and kind; the next, he was ranting about how the Negative Forces,
which had been co-inhabiting our bodies, were causing his hair
to fall out and affecting the health of Vayu, his advance-souled
Scottish terrier; then, flipping again to the other extreme,
he encouraged us to move to a new condominium just outside
of Boulder where "we could all live close to one another."
No one reminded him that only weeks before, we had left the city
in psychic shambles.
The dream of living and working together--of community--
lingered on, and Rama had us fill out rental applications.
When he found out that I had signed up for a less expensive condo unit,
he gently chided me. "You just don't get it, Mark. That's your
old self trying to reassert itself. You need to have more space.
You need to live in a clean, healthy environment."
I tried to explain to him that I needed money for Centre expenses
and also for food.
"Don't worry, kid," he said. "I'll subsidize you.


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