I felt particularly uneasy knowing that at one Centre meeting,
Rama had promised to take closer devotees for a ride through
the death worlds in a Porsche. After I hung up the phone,
the uneasiness did not disappear. Though I did not openly entertain
doubts about Rama, my ability to separate myself from his world,
and to view myself as an individual, was suddenly infused with
new life.
17. On High
"How would you like to get out of the spiritual rut you are in?"
Rama asked me in the spring of 1984.
"I would like that very much," I replied. I knew that there was
something wrong with my life. For years I sought enlightenment,
but was no longer happy. For years I sought the Spirit, but was no
longer animated. For years I sought the Self, but was no longer me.
I was ready to try anything, I told him.
He offered to give me LSD. "I suggest that you take it," he said.
"But you should only take it if it feels right."
In the past he had used Chinmoy's line that hallucinogens damaged
the subtle body. But the potential benefits, he now explained,
outweighed the risk, provided that a fully enlightened teacher
was around to supervise. "Don't worry," he added with a smile.
"I am very familiar with the drug.
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