You are also letting down those we were sent here to help.
Many of you don't seem to realize that you can easily be replaced.
Believe me, there are plenty of seekers out there who would genuinely
appreciate the opportunity that the Infinite is providing here."
Nor did I mention to Mr. Kohl that Rama followed through with his
threats of replacement. In 1984, for instance, he kicked out four
hundred followers after looking at their photos and reading their
recently submitted essays. The purge gave him greater control
over the remaining four or five hundred, who now lived in constant
fear of getting kicked out. As for the outcasts, many had developed
psychological dependencies on Rama. They continued to write him letters,
to appear regularly at public lectures, and to send him money.
Because he maintained their names and addresses in a database,
he could always swap them back in when the current batch burned out.
Nor did I mention that, in response to the intensifying pressure,
I had dropped out of UCSD a year before Donald, a sensitive,
bright UCLA undergraduate, committed suicide.
The longer I spoke with Mr. Kohl, the more I became aware of--
and uneasy about--the discrepancy between what I knew and what I
was willing to admit about my teacher and my organization.
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