"I felt it, a change
inside me..."
After the autopsy, I noticed the way I breathed. I noticed the way
my blood pulsed through me. I slept more; I had been sleeping only
five or six hours a night. I watched the way light played off ripples
in a body of water. Rama had failed to appear at the coroner's
that day. Until the next Centre meeting, his world seemed small.
Mr. Kohl listened to my descriptions of Rama and of the organization.
"Tell me, Mark," he said. "Does Rama pressure the disciples to be a
certain way?"
"Well, technically we're not really disciples. We're students.
Think of the organization as being like a university.
Sure, there's some pressure, if that's what you want to call it.
But it doesn't come from Rama. It comes from each of us wanting
to do well."
I did not mention that Rama often threatened to spend less
time with his disciples because we maintained an abysmal level
of consciousness and because we bombarded him with Negative
Occult Energy. "You should understand that I will still love
you no matter what you do," Rama lectured. "But when you ignore
my suggestions, when you succumb to the Forces, when you don't keep
up with your tuition payments, you are setting yourselves up for a
multi-lifetime pattern that will be extremely difficult to break.
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