He taught me, for instance,
to fear the Negative Forces which he said were destroying
the fabric of society. "Just read the papers," he would say.
"You'll see what I'm talking about."
He taught me to fear what would happen if I left the Centre.
"You know too much to leave. It's a greedy, materialistic world
out there. Your soul would be miserable. Besides, the Forces would
flatten you like a bug. You would lose thousands of lifetimes
of evolution."
He taught me to fear, not just the Forces but people, particularly old
friends and family. "It's best if you don't tell them what we do here.
Believe me, they won't understand. They'll end up blocking your
progress and sapping your power."
And he taught me to fear for my sanity. "You can no longer deal with
the real world. You're lucky I don't drop you off at a mental institution."
Other reasons why I had felt compelled to take the Stelazine slowly dawned.
I realized that Atmananda's senatorial countenance, his smooth,
commanding voice, and his Ph.D. contributed to an aura of authority
which I had found difficult to dispute. He had combined Western
rhetoric, Eastern mysticism, and American pop culture to entice me;
vague language, long pauses, and repetition to hold me spellbound;
and fear, fasting, and sleep deprivation to break me down.
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