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Laxer, Mark Eliot

"Take Me for a Ride: coming of age in a destructive cult"


He kept them in a room in the garage. He was unaware that they
were gnawing a hole in the roof. He planned to tame them and to sell
them at a profit.
One time I lay in bed thinking about One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest,
a book Atmananda had recommended to me. At first I thought
about the similarities between Atmananda and R. P. McMurphy,
the novel's free-spirited protagonist. Both men, I realized,
exuded auras of self-confidence. Atmananda, for instance,
had once offered to teach me the secret of attracting women.
Jutting his chin forward like a boxer's glove, he focused on
an imaginary horizon and began taking long and rhythmic strides.
He suddenly seemed eight feet tall, and I watched in awe as he ignored
the young women who were checking him out.
Both Atmananda and McMurphy, I realized, shared their knowledge
with others. Atmananda, for instance, made a special effort to make
his followers feel big. "How can you become strong and self-confident?"
he asked at Centre meetings. "By doing all the things I have
been recommending. By meditating. By leading impeccable lives.
By cutting off those--such as your family--who are draining your power.
And by learning to trust in yourselves."
Both Atmananda and McMurphy, I also realized, were teachers of
self-sacrifice.


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