He began holding "crucial" meetings each night to help us "combat
the Forces." The meetings began at around seven-thirty p.m.
and lasted at times until dawn.
I attended each of Atmananda's meetings and, with only two or three
hours of sleep per night, quickly grew fatigued. Once my boss
at the UCSD Computer Center found me asleep with my upper body
resting on a noisy, three-and-a-half-foot-high mainframe printer.
Another time, Atmananda read to me a letter that he had sent to Chinmoy:
"As you know, I have been entering into highly advanced states of
consciousness lately..." Unable to concentrate, I suppressed a yawn
and lapsed into a long, thoughtless pause.
I was occasionally buoyed by the realization that I desperately
needed rest, that I needed time to think, and that I needed to take
a break from Atmananda's all-night meetings. But I was mostly
slapped by waves of fear of Atmananda's Negative Forces, and pulled
under by the weight of shifting etiquette, meta-rational rhetoric,
and sleep deprivation.
Roughly two weeks into the post-coup program, Atmananda began
to publish WOOF! The Weekly Newsletter of Anahata. Having named
his organization after the anahata chakra--the "psychic energy center
of love"--he initially distributed WOOF! to the fifty Anahatans.
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