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Laxer, Mark Eliot

"Take Me for a Ride: coming of age in a destructive cult"

Do not worship me. Do not treat me
like a guru. I am a teacher, a spiritual benefactor. You will have
to fight your impulses to treat me as though I were more important
than anyone else."
I liked his term "spiritual benefactor." It seemed to encompass
the spiritual worlds of the Guru and the mystical worlds of benefactor
Don Juan. I also liked his claim that he sought no special attention.
"Needless to say, you are free to leave at any time,"
he suddenly lashed out. "No one is asking you to stay--believe me,
you are not doing anyone any favors!"
It made me upset and confused when Atmananda flipped to his emerging,
hostile personality.
"But if it is the highest good that you seek," he said,
returning to a gentler tongue, "you have come to the right place."
I suppressed a yawn. He had been speaking awhile, and it was well
past midnight. Exhausted, too, from the shock of Atmananda's sudden
grab for power, I became mesmerized by the sound and the rhythm
of the words.
"You are caught up in trying to be someone you are not, and it is clearly
not working. You are fighting yourselves for no apparent reason.
Look, it's easy. You can stay the way you are and continue living
someone else's dream, or you can come with me on a walk to nowhere.


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