Many children are so crammed with everything that they really
know nothing. In proof of this, read these veritable specimens of
definitions, written by public school children that very year in
another school of this town.
"Stability is the taking care of a stable."
"A mosquito is the child of black and white parents."
"Monastery is the place for monsters."
"Tocsin is something to do with getting drunk."
"Expostulation is to have the smallpox."
"Cannible is two brothers who killed each other in the
Bible."
"Anatomy is the human body, which consists of three parts,
the head, the chist and the stummick. The head contains the
eyes and brains, if any; the chist contains the lungs and a
piece of the liver. The stummick is devoted to the bowels, of
which there are five, a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes w, and y."
Every teacher was rated according to his ability to secure from his
pupils a high percentage in examinations for promotion.
I grew restless under the restraints imposed by a committee of
incompetents; besides, the minister who was chairman of the Board,
considered a Unitarian to be an infidel, demoralizing the religious
life of the young. I grew tired of his malicious peccadillos, and
accepted a "louder" call from that quaint town where the historic
Lloyd Ireson "with his hord horrt was torrd and futhered und Korrid in
a Kort by the wimmun o' Marrble ed.
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