Its a wise son who can get two birds with One Bone.
U V
There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood,
leads on to Fortune--But most of us catch our watered stock on the
ebb.
UMBRELLA A good thing to put up in a shower--or pawn-shop; but,
like skating, never seen after Lent.
UNBOSOMED A shirt just returned from a steam laundry.
UNION An ailing individual frequently troubled by scabs and liable
to strike without warning.
UMPIRE No jeweler, but a high authority on diamonds.
USHER One who takes a leading part in a theatre.
VACCINATION Where "jabbing the needle" is never a vice.
VAUDEVILLE From Lat. vaut, good for, and villageois, countryman.
Good for countrymen.
VERANDA An open-air enclosure often used as a spoon-holder.
VEST A waistcoat sold at halfprice.
VIRTUE A quality oftentimes associated with intelligence, but
rarely with beauty.
VULGARITY The conduct of others.
A rolling stone gathers no moss--except at roulette.
W
But a stony roll always gathers the stony stare.
WAITER An Inn-experienced servant.
WAR A wholesale means of making heroes which, if planned in a
small way, would produce only murderers.
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