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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Clicking of Cuthbert"

"'In killing
lions,'" he added, quoting from the well-known treatise of Nimrod, the
recognized text-book on the sport, "'the weight at the top of the swing
should be evenly balanced on both feet.'"
"Ah, weel, ye're no killing lions the noo. Ye're gowfing."
A sudden humility descended upon the King. He felt, as so many men were
to feel in similar circumstances in ages to come, as though he were a
child looking eagerly for guidance to an all-wise master--a child,
moreover, handicapped by water on the brain, feet three sizes too large
for him, and hands consisting mainly of thumbs.
"O thou of noble ancestors and agreeable disposition!" he said, humbly.
"Teach me the true way."
"Use the interlocking grup and keep the staunce a wee bit open and slow
back, and dinna press or sway the heid and keep yer e'e on the ba'."
"My which on the what?" said the King, bewildered.
"I fancy, your Majesty," hazarded the Vizier, "that he is respectfully
suggesting that your serene graciousness should deign to keep your eye
on the ball."
"Oh, ah!" said the King.


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