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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Clicking of Cuthbert"

September thirteenth, marry Amelia."
"Marry Amelia," I echoed, moistening my pencil.
"Where do you play this--what's-its-name--golf?"
"There are clubs all over the country. I belong to the Wissahicky
Glen."
"That a good place?"
"Very good."
"Arrange today for my becoming a member."
* * * * *
Sandy McHoots arrived in due course, and was shown into the private
office.
"Mr. McHoots?" said Vincent Jopp.
"Mphm!" said the Open Champion.
"I have sent for you, Mr. McHoots, because I hear that you are the
greatest living exponent of this game of golf."
"Aye," said the champion, cordially. "I am that."
"I wish you to teach me the game. I am already somewhat behind schedule
owing to the delay incident upon your long journey, so let us start at
once. Name a few of the most important points in connection with the
game. My secretary will make notes of them, and I will memorize them.
In this way we shall save time. Now, what is the most important thing
to remember when playing golf?"
"Keep your heid still.


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