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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"The Clicking of Cuthbert"

I had--from the best motives--concealed the source of the
scheme. "It's ridiculous!"
"Oh, I don't know," said Mitchell. "The old boy's crazy about golf.
It's just the sort of scheme he would cook up. Well, it dishes
_me_!"
"Oh, come!" I said.
"It's no good saying 'Oh, come!' You know perfectly well that I'm a
frank, outspoken golfer. When my ball goes off nor'-nor'-east when I
want it to go due west I can't help expressing an opinion about it. It
is a curious phenomenon which calls for comment, and I give it.
Similarly, when I top my drive, I have to go on record as saying that I
did not do it intentionally. And it's just these trifles, as far as I
can make out, that are going to decide the thing."
"Couldn't you learn to control yourself on the links, Mitchell,
darling?" asked Millicent. "After all, golf is only a game!"
Mitchell's eyes met mine, and I have no doubt that mine showed just the
same look of horror which I saw in his. Women say these things without
thinking. It does not mean that there is any kink in their character.


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