"NOT SINCE I PLAYED IN THE AMATEUR CHAMPIONSHIP, SIR." (_Colonel
is put off again._)]
* * * * *
"Miss ----, the World-renounced Teacher of Dancing."--_Southern Standard_.
Another victim of the War.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Major-General_ (_addressing the men before practising an
attack behind the lines_). "I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A REHEARSAL, AND THE REAL THING. THERE ARE THREE
ESSENTIAL DIFFERENCES: FIRST, THE ABSENCE OF THE ENEMY. NOW (_turning to
the Regimental Sergeant-Major_) WHAT IS THE SECOND DIFFERENCE?"
_Sergeant-Major_. "THE ABSENCE OF THE GENERAL, SIR."]
* * * * *
TO TOWSER.
No pampered pound of peevish fluff
That goggles from a lady's muff
Art thou, my Towser. In the Park
Thy form occasions no remark
Unless it be a friendly call
From soldiers walking in the Mall,
Or the impertinence of pugs
Stretched at their ease on carriage rugs.
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