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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"Rewards and Fairies"

Boney whipped out his pistol before I could stand up.
"General," says Talleyrand to him, "this gentleman has a habit of
catching us canaille en deshabille. Put that thing down."
'Boney laid it on the table, so I guessed which was master.
Talleyrand takes my hand - "Charmed to see you again,
Candide," he says. "How is the adorable Dr Pangloss and the
noble Huron?"
'"They were doing very well when I left," I said. "But I'm
not."
'"Do you sell buttons now?" he says, and fills me a glass of
wine off the table.
'"Madeira," says he. "Not so good as some I have drunk."
'"You mountebank!" Boney roars. "Turn that out." (He
didn't even say "man," but Talleyrand, being gentle born, just
went on.)
'"Pheasant is not so good as pork," he says. "You will find
some at that table if you will do me the honour to sit down. Pass
him a clean plate, General." And, as true as I'm here, Boney slid a
plate along just like a sulky child. He was a lanky-haired, yellow-
skinned little man, as nervous as a cat - and as dangerous. I could
feel that.
'"And now," said Talleyrand, crossing his game leg over his
sound one, "will you tell me your story?"
'I was in a fluster, but I told him nearly everything from the
time he left me the five hundred dollars in Philadelphia, up to my
losing ship and cargo at Le Havre.


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